I’ve been wanting to blog about this for some time but I have been put off by my own sense of maternal failure. It is nothing serious just that feeling when the baby is crying and I am desperately trying to finish off a sentence, *that*sentence that puts the story into complete perspective and this wee hand starts enthusiastically bashing away on the keyboard, accompanied by a gummy grin (which, is adorable). And I sigh, or sometimes I swear, sometimes I just put my head in my hands. Very occasionally I find it amusing. And I feel I have failed.
Already, my darling, baby girl has managed to break the space bar so it deletes random sentences, rip off the fan plug to stop the Mac overheating and do something weird to the screen. Simon’s Cat is a mere amateur.
I do love the fact that she finds me more interesting than Cloudbabies, that she wants to try typing at the keyboard to be like me. Yes, that’s just what we need, another creative in the family! <.<
But stay-at-home mothers (or, indeed, fathers) who have a creative talent or profession, need space and time to be able to practice it. And babies are well-known throughout history for stealing that away.
It’s not a dilemma, exactly, more random seconds of complete despair that are washed away very quickly by the overwhelming love you feel for you child.
It is interesting that I feel compelled to justify what I’m writing about with written declarations of my love for my baby. I don’t really need to do that. I miss her even when she is asleep. There I go again.
This is such a tricky issue to get one’s head around. I wonder what other creatives feel about this? But to answer my original question. The answer for me is a resounding ‘NO!”. I’m just not that *something* enough.
November 17, 2015 at 10:32 am
You are everything you need to be – truly. Just think, she is already being a part of the wonderful world of writing. I have to say that I know what you mean but d’ya know what my struggles back in the day were, how to get the housework and washing done! really – what you are doing is so much more worthwhile, so much more enduring. She is with you, she feels your love and even if it does take you longer to get your thoughts onto the screen (especially with a broken space bar!!) you’re doing it, you are just doing it. Well done – don’t beat yourself up.
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November 17, 2015 at 10:52 am
Thank you, my champion x
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